Washed away

The boxes were spread in her room, along with some dirt. Quietly she stepped in her room, looking at it. This would be her room every weekend from now on. Her father and mother were divorced. Her father bought a new house, with a big chamber for her alone. She still had to unpack everything, but she was called by her father.

'Rachel? Is everything alright?'
'I'm fine, papa!', she replied. 'It's the most beautiful room I've ever seen!' It definitely was huge. This would be perfect.
'Glad you like it. But I gotta go now, the truck with the rest of the furniture has arrived. You'll be OK, right?'
'Don't worry, I'm going to unpack my things.'

And with that, she walked to one of the boxes. A very big “B” was written on it. She smiled and opened it. It contained her special stuff, because it was an altar. She was a Buddhist. Not everyone in her family agreed with it, but her father was OK with it. Her mother for instance couldn't stand it at all. That's why she had taken everything that was related to Buddhism to this room.

A dark wooden table was put down in front of the window. A big stone Buddha was placed on top of it. On either side of him she placed small bundles of lavender. She looked at what she had just created. It looked simple, but to her it was paradise. She would always meditate when she had problems or didn't feel well. It always drove her mother crazy. She loved her mother and her mother loved her back, but at that point, they didn't understand each other.

She sat down on the ground, taking exactly the same stance as Buddha in front of her. She closed her eyes and thought. About everything that had happened the last weeks. The divorce had been hard on her. The first days she didn't sleep, and she barely ate. The next ones had been more.. normal, but not pleasant. Sure, she had been scared of all the fights between her father and mother, but was this really the solution? Wasn't there an other way?

She sniffed deeply. The smell of lavender made her sleepy and relaxed. She couldn't help but think back to time when it was different. Maybe it was the lavender, or maybe her stance, but one strong memory came back. One she hadn't thought about the last time. She could hear the waves, smell the sea. The picture in her head became clearer and clearer.

---

It was very hot. She was small, with long blond hair. The road to the sea had been awfully long, but the result was there. Her parents grabbed their stuff and unpacked everything on the rocky shore. An old pier was quickly discovered by her. Carefully she stepped on it, walking to the end of it. She sat on the edge, letting her feet touch the cold water. It was a beautiful sight. The waves pushed and pulled on the shore.

'Rachel, come here darling! You will get sun-burned if you don't rub yourself in with sunscreen cream!', her mother shouted. She looked at her skin. It still was blank, and slightly turning red already.
'I'm coming, mom!'

After that, lunch began. They had driven for almost 2 hours, and now, everyone was hungry. It tasted a bit sandy, but it still was nice. She grabbed her little spade and started to dig a hole with a big wall of sand around it. The sea tried to come in, but failed. The whole day was sunny and bright. Her parents laid in the sun, enjoying every little beam of sunlight.

At the end of the day, her father helped her building the biggest fort ever. The sun was still a few hours from setting. The three of them started walking along the shore. It was so peacefully, so full of happiness. They were together. The waves flushed over their feet. Hand in hand, Rachel between them. She was their connection, their bond. Nothing could ever break it. When they walked back, they saw the footprints they had left behind. They were washed away by the waves. Rachel had laughed about it, it looked so funny.

When they came back, the sun started to set, but the sky was still blue. Her father asked a stranger to make a picture of them. Rachel wanted to be on the picture too, but her father said: 'No, Rachel. This is a special photo of mommy and me.'

The biggest fort ever had been washed away by the sea. She tried to repair it, but it was no use. It didn't matter, the day had been worth it. When the sun had set, and the stars started to fill it's place, her parents started to pack everything.

'Are we going back next year? Mom, can we go back soon?', she asked, with little lights of hope in her eyes.
'Of course, honey. We'll go back as soon as we can.'

But they never went again.

---

She still sat in the same stance, but she felt like she had left her body. Now she came back to the earth, crushing down. She hadn't even noticed that she had started to cry. Her cheeks were all wet, and some tears had fallen on her shirt. That photo.. she still had it somewhere. She searched in the boxes and easily found it. It was her favourite photo. It was exactly as she remembered it. The old pier, her parents standing on it, with on the background the sea. While she stood there with the photo, her father came in her room.

'There you are, Rachel. I was worried, I didn't hear anything downstairs. We've finally unpacked everything, and I was wondering..' He stopped in the middle of his sentence when she turned around. She knew it hurt him when she was like this, but she couldn't help it. His eyes raced from her face to the photo she held. He immediately understood. He grabbed the photo, placed it on the table and took her in his arms.

'Don't worry, Rachel, everything is going to be alright. I know our divorce was hard on you, but it's better this way. We've got to keep moving on, like the waves always will continue to push and pull on the shore.'

That made so much impact on her, that she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and cried loudly. He rubbed her back, saying: 'Hush, hush now.. It's gonna be OK.' She sniffed and took a deep breath.
'Have you ever loved her?'

He seemed shocked by that question, but he still answered it.
'Yes, I have. I still do, but not as much as at beginning. It would've never worked out between us. I'm sure that you grew as tired of those fights as we. But we both love you, and we will never stop loving you. Never forget that, Rachel.'

He wiped away her tears, and kissed her cheek.
'Never forget that. Life goes on.' He kissed her again on her cheek. 'Now, I was wondering if you would like to take a look downstairs. It may still be a mess, but things are getting better and better.'

They walked downstairs, and her father still had one arm around her shoulder. The waves still rushed in her head, but the sea was nowhere to be seen. She would have sworn that she felt sand between her toes, but it was an illusion. The waves pushed and pulled inside her head, washing away her memory. More memories would come to fill this empty place.